That Awkward Moment at the Dermatologist’s Office

In February of last year, my dermatologist discovered a spot on my face that turned out to be melanoma. In March they successfully and skillfully surgically removed it and I have a barely noticeable scar on my left cheek. Since that time, I have had two full body “scans” and have had no more problems. The second of those body scans occurred just yesterday.

I am of the opinion that the circle of people of the opposite sex who have seen you naked ought to be a small one. You know, like, your momma and your wife. Okay, I probably have to put my big sister in there, though that troubles me a tad. So when I am sitting on the examination table in my boxer briefs and a sheet and my female dermatologist walks back in with, not one, but two female companions,  the following internal commentary is how this modest man’s mind copes with it:

“Well, ladies, FEAST YOUR EYES!”

“If the underwear goes, there WILL be a surcharge.”

“Maybe the tanning bed should have been a consideration. Tan fat looks better than white fat… oh wait… this is the dermatologist.”

“One friend for accountability’s sake, but two friends??? Now its an exhibition.”

“The expanse of my body is such that it takes six eyes to do this scan job in a timely fashion.”

“Ladies, now I know how it feels to walk past the construction site.”

“You are smiling now, just don’t laugh when I leave.”

“Don’t make eye contact! Don’t make eye contact!”

Honestly, it was not that bad at all. I share this humorous anecdote mainly because I want to, at least, begin the dialogue for you in your home with those you love. If you have any strange spots/places show up on your body, PLEASE let a loved one check it out and if you have any question at all, talk with your doctor. Believe me, it is totally worth any momentary discomfort. It can save your life.

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